Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Curse. Continued...

I told you.

I told you the car was cursed, but you didn't believe me. "Oh, that Shelby...so dramatic, she's just doesn't pay attention." You thought it, I know you did. WELL, it's cursed, so here I am again.

Last wednesday Kiernan & I stayed home sick. We we're both pretty yucky, but I realized we were out of toilet paper (a very important thing, toilet paper...especially when it's doing double duty as kleenex). So we head off to Costco for TP & frozen chicken. We wander, we pay, we head back to the car, we go to get out the car keys...hellooo, keys? No keys? NO KEYS!? That's right no keys. I think back & realize Kiernan had been playing in my purse. Oh crap!

Well, to make a long story short we were at Costco for over 4 hours. I had asked every worker if they'd seen them, I'd crawled on the floors, and had dug through Costco TRASH CANS!!! (ewww) Every employee in the store knew me, my sick kid, and my husband who showed up to search. They knew it was a rental, and that when I called the rental company I was told they could come & tow it, change all the locks, recode all of the computer chips & charge it all to me.

By the way, did I mention that in all of the frenzy I forgot to pick up my kid from school? Well, I did. Did I mention that I had a ridiculous case of strep? Well, I did. Did I mention that this car is cursed? Well, it is.

Told ya'.

P.S. Hey Gwen, so sorry I was totally psycho when I saw you! I was loosing my mind, as you could easily tell, I'm sure. Next time we'll chat...you look AWESOME by the way. ~Shelby

Monday, April 14, 2008

Minivan Momma and the Curse of the Caravan

First off, can you tell I've been watching a little too much Scooby Doo lately?

Okay, so I need to first explain that no, I do not own a minivan. Those of you who know me well enough know that I am not a big fan of the minivan-type vehicle (really any "mini-type" or "van-type" vehicle is a bit annoying to me). Not exactly earth-concious, I know...so, sue me.

Frankly I have mocked minivans for so long that in spite of the heckling I am recieving from my sisters I'm finding it hard not to admit that the dang thing is incredibly convenient. It's such a relief to not have to do that contortionist thing that moms do when the kid sitting right behind you announces that they couldn't get their seat belt buckled...while your plowing down the freeway at 65 miles per hour. You know, the one where you must disengage your arm at the shoulder, flip it into the back seat, and then buckle the kid in with one eye pointing forward (scanning for Cops now) and the other pointing back searching for the 2 inch slot lost somewhere between the car seat & the crack. By the way...why is it ALWAYS the kid right behind you? Why can't it ever be the one in the opposite seat, or even the kid that can eventually find the buckle themselves? Nope, it's the toddler who's apparently become blind, lost all of their fingers, and developed an aversion to all seats except the one right under your backside.

I digress.

SO...here's how we got the Minivan. My 2 year-old, brand new, hot off the lot, Ford Explorer was making "a noise". Not a bad noise, but a noise regardless. So, it being under warranty we took it in. They called back later that day to let us know that, "Hey, no big deal...it was just a computer glitch. Reset the computer & we were good to go. Oh, and by the way, did you know that you have FOUR LEAKS!?! "

*pause* (counting on fingers) "Do I have 4 things that can leak on my car?"

Apparently I can. Transmissions, radiators, breaks, and some other mysterious thing that have somehow, in sync, worked together to manage and bust all at once. While 3 of the 4 things were a quick fix, apparently the radiator part we need is made in a black hole somewhere south of Saturn and won't be available until *drumroll please*...November. Yes, you heard me right. NOVEMBER!!!! Luckily we are under warranty and are provided with a rental car until ours can be fixed. Or the apocalypse...whichever comes first.

Now, I've learned one or two things about minivans since acquiring this one, hence the curse mentioned in the title of this Blog.

Lesson #1-Minivans are longer than Ford Explorers. This means that they don't fit in the garage as well. For example, I am including the picture of the MASSIVE SCRATCHES that I put on the RENTAL CAR the first night we had it:

Lesson #2-Apparently all break pedals aren't in the exact same spot in every car. Which I found out on day three, after rear ending a car going down Herndon Ave (think Highway 6 in Texas) in after work traffic on a Friday. Actually, there was next to no damage (slightly bent license plate) on my car, and a small "bolt shaped" impression on the bumper of the hysterical teen ager that I bumped. Through gasping tears she asked for my license, registration, and insurance card...isn't that what the cops ask for when you're pulled over? She wanted to take pictures of the "damage", nothing registered on the camera...because there was NO DAMAGE!! Eventually I asked for her dad's phone number & called him. He's the actual owner of the 1984 Buick that she was driving. I explained everything to him & told him to call me if he wanted me to take care of any "damage". I haven't heard from him since.

So there you have it...I knew there was a reason that I didn't like minivans. They're cursed! The sooner I'm done with this one the better!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Lost & Found


Sweet little girl named Kiernan, large hazel eyes, long brown hair w/ big bows, & big smile.
A.K.A. -Sweet Pea, Baby K, or Love Bug
Loving personality, gives lots of hugs, very friendly, tells people they are beautiful. Easy going, travels well & enjoys a variety of foods.


Demon Beast child, approx 4 years old, watery brown eyes, tangled hair & unbrushed teeth.
A.K.A. -Whiner, Little booger, or plain old brat
Cries constantly, talks back, & is extremely defiant. Refuses to leave the house, go to bed, eat, dress, brush, or be agreeable in ANY way.
Has been seen wearing my daughter Kiernan's clothes, and has most recently been seen hitting brothers and as of today...mothers.

If this child is yours, please contact me immediately, so that I may return her to you post haste (no guarantees on condition of returned item).
If you have seen Kiernan, please return her home immediatley...and tell her that her mommy REALLY, REALLY misses her.